雅思閱讀模擬試題：自戀人格是怎么形成的

　　How does someone become a narcissist, or are they born that way?

　　自戀人格是怎樣形成的呢?還是他們生來如此?

　　It depends, children, especially newborns, demand constant attention but that is a process of survival. Eventually, as they mature, they should learn that they are not the only ones on earth with valid needs. That is where patience, consideration, and other valuable social traits are developed.

　　看情況，小孩，特別是初生嬰兒通常都需要持續(xù)的注意力，但那是求生本能。當(dāng)他們逐漸成熟，會(huì)逐漸意識(shí)到自己不是世上的，這也正是耐心、為他人考慮和其他重要社會(huì)特征形成的時(shí)期。

　　In my personal opinion, I see two options a person can take. When there are parents who are extreme narcissists, they will tend to be inattentive to the emotional needs of their child. Those needs might get ignored, ridiculed, shamed, or attacked. In the end the child is hungry for love and attention. Having a love deficit may cause a child to do one of two things:

　　我個(gè)人認(rèn)為，有兩種可能性。當(dāng)小孩的父母極為自戀時(shí)，他們可能無法意識(shí)到子女的情緒需求，這些需求可能被父母所忽略、嘲笑、羞辱、甚至是攻擊。最終，孩子會(huì)極度渴望愛和注意力。這種缺乏愛的情況可能導(dǎo)致孩子的如下兩種行為：

　　1) Become an actor in order to get the admiration and attention the child needs. The parents are not safe. They disdain showing neediness and pain. The parents live for appearances. The child is emotionally bleeding and trying to survive because of experiencing emotional neglect. As a result, the child cannot find safety in parents and thus starts to hide to survive. The child experiments with playing false impersonations. They soon find that they can manipulate their parents and others by acting. With this foundation, they embark on the path of wearing all kinds of disguises and masks in order to get anything they want, especially from persons who have love-hunger and seek to please to get it. They become incredibly selfish, unfeeling, and expert manipulators.

　　1)為了得到孩子所該得的贊美和注意力，而成為一名演員。沒有安全感的父母，蔑視將需求和痛苦表現(xiàn)出來，為了表象而活著。孩子的情緒因此受到了嚴(yán)重的傷害，他們試圖在被忽略之后存活，他們無法在家長那里得到安全感，所以開始隱藏自己來求得生存。他們通過虛擬的模仿來進(jìn)行試驗(yàn)，很快發(fā)現(xiàn)他們能夠通過演戲的方式來操縱父母和其他人。因此，他們開始戴上各種各樣的偽裝和面具，從而獲取自己想要的，特別是從那些需求愛和尋找愛的人身上獲取。他們變得極為自私、無情和會(huì)操縱別人。

　　2) Another way that extreme narcissists are created is by being brought up super-pampered. Being brought up without negative consequences for being selfish and hurtful creates a social monster. We call them brats, but this is “Brat-Supreme.” These individuals know little of respecting other’s personal boundaries. They believe they are gods… or God. Their Ego knows no bounds in grandiosity.

　　2)極度自戀的人也可能是由極度嬌生慣養(yǎng)的父母所帶大的。他們的成長過程中，從沒有過由于自私或?qū)�別人造成傷害而帶來的負(fù)面影響，因而成長為社交怪物。我們稱呼他們?yōu)椤靶『ⅰ�，但他們�?shí)際上是超級小孩，完全不知道要尊重他人的個(gè)人界限，認(rèn)為自己是上帝，其自我意識(shí)無邊無界。

　　Do you think narcissism is something of a growing 21st century problem?

　　你認(rèn)為在21世紀(jì)，自戀是否一個(gè)日漸突出的問題?

　　Yes, as a result of Baby Boomers/Hippie Generation wanting the best for their children, they have created children who feel entitled and who believe they deserve unreserved success without much difficulty.

　　是的，嬰兒潮和嬉皮一代都希望子女擁有的東西，因此他們讓孩子們感到自己有資格、而且相信自己會(huì)獲得完全的成功----而且不用經(jīng)歷太大困難。

　　What are some everyday traits that might indicate someone is a narcissist? (Constant Facebook updates? Attention seeking?)

　　有哪些日常特征可能意味著自戀人格呢?(如持續(xù)的Facebook更新?對注意力的尋求?)

　　Some common traits that tend to show extreme narcissism can be incessant talk about self, exaggerating personal accomplishments, lack of empathy and sensitivity for others, public displays of grandiosity as in the case of social network media constantly displaying body, muscles, sex appeal, constantly talking about “self.”

　　展現(xiàn)極端自戀的日常特征包括不停地談?wù)撟约�、夸張個(gè)人成就、缺乏對他人的同理和敏感、夸張的公共展示，如在社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)上經(jīng)常展示個(gè)人身體、肌肉、性感、以及談?wù)摗白晕摇薄?/P>

　　Another form of narcissism is victimization. If narcissism were a coin, one side would be grandiosity (“I am bigger than you!”), while the other side is victimization (“I am better than you because I suffer more than you do.”). With victimization, a narcissist will insist that you do not know how hard he or she has it in life. This narcissist shames you for not taking care of them or taking up their cause.

　　另一種自戀的形式是受害者人格。自戀這枚硬幣的一面是夸張(“我比你強(qiáng)”)，另一面就是受害者人格(“我比你強(qiáng)，是因?yàn)槲页惺艿谋饶愣唷?。具有受害者人格的自戀者堅(jiān)持認(rèn)為你并不了解他們?nèi)松�中所�?jīng)歷的苦難，他們以你不照顧他們、或不支持他們的事業(yè)而羞辱你。

　　There can be narcissists on both sides of a cause or argument. A person can be a totally victimized narcissist about one side of a position or argument as well as the opposite. This can be true in the realms of politics (Conservatives vs. Liberals), morals about life choices (abortion vs. anti-abortion), or as simple as choosing what color to paint a wall. A skilled narcissist uses “suffering” as a device to get attention. Most persons fall for their trap because they have been made to feel insensitive and uncaring otherwise.

　　針對同一個(gè)事業(yè)或事情的兩個(gè)方面，也都可能產(chǎn)生自戀。一個(gè)人可能對論點(diǎn)的一面完全產(chǎn)生受害型自戀，也可能對相反那面。在政治(保守派VS自由派)，對生活選擇的道德問題(墮胎VS反對墮胎)，甚至是選擇墻壁顏色的簡單問題上，都是如此。熟練的自戀者用“受害”作為獲得注意力的手段，而大多數(shù)人都會(huì)落入他們的陷阱，以避免自己顯得冷漠和無情。

　　How can narcissistic behavior damage relationships (both romantic and platonic)?

　　自戀的行為如何損害關(guān)系(親密和柏拉圖式關(guān)系)?

　　Extreme narcissist create untold damage in relationships by using the goodwill and loving sacrifice and dedication of the other person much like a Spider sucks the life-juices from a victim. The Spider ignores the carcass when it offers no more sustenance. Another metaphor is that extreme narcissists are relational vampires. They take your blood until you have none left. They destroy you. They will make you think they “really” care for you when, in reality, they are using you and taking from you. They return very little to your emotional health. Because they are scared to death of you finding out how weak and hurting they are in their inside, they freak out and panic when you get too close. In such cases they disappear or withdraw.

　　極端自戀的人通過好意、對另一個(gè)人的犧牲和風(fēng)險(xiǎn)在關(guān)系中造成難以言說的傷害，就像蜘蛛從犧牲者身上中吸取生命的果汁。當(dāng)犧牲者再不能提供果汁時(shí)，蜘蛛將無視這個(gè)尸體。另一個(gè)比喻是認(rèn)為極端自戀者就如同關(guān)系里的吸血鬼一樣，他們將你的血徹底吸走，毀滅掉你。他們會(huì)讓你認(rèn)為他們真的是關(guān)心你，但實(shí)際上他們只是利用你和從你身上不斷地索取。他們對你并無情感健康的回報(bào)。他們太害怕你發(fā)現(xiàn)他們內(nèi)心的軟弱和傷痕，因此你稍微靠近，他們就會(huì)抓狂和驚恐，而且經(jīng)常以消失或撤退收場。

　　They often do not return calls. In this process they can also make you feel like you are the culprit and a bad person to make you feel guilty and deflect your interest in entering their soul. A narcissist is never wrong… because he is God. You, however, are always wrong, according to the narcissist. As a therapist I have found that many women who have love deficits fall for the traps of narcissists. They have Yo-Yo and Bi-Polar relationships with these men. It is nerve racking. The men use calculated tenderness, expert guilt-tripping and simple abuse to wear down a good woman. In the end, they destroy her, leaving an emotional disaster behind. He then goes on the prey for the next fool, never believing he ever did anything wrong.

　　他們不會(huì)回復(fù)你的電話。這一過程中，他們依然會(huì)讓你感到自己是壞人，會(huì)產(chǎn)生負(fù)罪感，而且會(huì)歪曲你試圖進(jìn)入他們靈魂的興趣。自戀者從不犯錯(cuò)。。。因?yàn)樗�是上帝。而對他來說，你永遠(yuǎn)都是錯(cuò)的。作為一個(gè)心理醫(yī)生，我常�？吹胶芏鄬�愛有缺陷的女性落入自戀者的陷阱中。她們與這些男人的關(guān)系反覆而極端。這完全是精神折磨，男人用算計(jì)好的溫柔、專家式的負(fù)罪感植入和初級的虐待使一個(gè)好女人漸漸被磨損。，他們毀掉她，留一個(gè)情感的災(zāi)難在身后，繼續(xù)尋找下一個(gè)傻瓜，而不認(rèn)為自己做了任何錯(cuò)事。

　　How can narcissistic behavior be damaging in the workplace?

　　自戀行為如何在工作場所造成危害?

　　Narcissists in the workplace are mostly seen in ego-centric bosses. Behind their backs, the employees call them “?ss-holes.” They are hated and employees do the minimum to please them. If an employee is more gifted than the boss, he must be careful. Narcissistic bosses feel threatened by persons who are better than they are and who can steal the glory from them. Extreme narcissists are extremely insecure. As long as an employee can make the narcissistic boss look good then they are “needed” and an indispensable part of the team… his team. The moment a narcissistic boss feels threatened or has taken all credit from an employee then that employee is dispensable. He is done with that person and so he tosses them into the trash heap of human debris.

　　工作場所的自戀者常常見于極度自戀的老板身上。在他們身后，員工稱呼其為混蛋老板，憎恨他們，而且完全不愿意取悅于他們。如果員工比老板更有才，那就一定要小心。自戀的老板對強(qiáng)過他們的人和能偷走他們光環(huán)的人感受到威脅。極端自戀者都非常沒有安全感。只要員工能讓老板看上去很好，那么老板就會(huì)需要他，團(tuán)隊(duì)也不能沒有他。當(dāng)自戀老板感到被威脅，或完全不相信某員工時(shí)，他就可以被拋棄了，老板會(huì)像扔垃圾一樣開除他。

　　What should you do if you want to help a narcissistic friend snap out of it?

　　如何幫助自戀的朋友走出來?

　　It is questionable whether a true narcissist can really have a friend, unless that friend is an appendage or subservient person to the narcissist. Having an extreme narcissist as a “friend” is a dangerous relational sign. It says that the “friend” is weak and gets used. Can the “friend” help the narcissist to snap out of it? Not really. It is recommended to run for the hills and make friends with those who really care. Avoid narcissists. Narcissists die alone and miserable. Don’t’ let them take you with them.

　　值得懷疑自戀的人除了附屬者之外，是否有真正的朋友。擁有極度自戀的朋友是一個(gè)關(guān)系上的危險(xiǎn)信號(hào)，表示你是脆弱而且習(xí)慣于此的。那么你能否幫助自戀的朋友走出來呢?并不。我建議你還是離開他，與真正關(guān)心人的人們做朋友。避開自戀者，自戀者孤獨(dú)的悲慘的死去，不要讓他們拉你一起。

　　What can you do if you’re in a romantic relationship with a narcissist and you’re frustrated?

　　如果你正與一個(gè)自戀者發(fā)展關(guān)系，而且感到挫折，該怎么做呢?

　　Leave them. Narcissists are extremely toxic to your health. They will destroy you in time and leave a human wreckage behind. Your heart will get ripped out of you and fed to the pigs. Understand that an extreme narcissist is a severely sick person. Avoid at all costs.

　　離開。自戀者對你的健康極為有害，他們會(huì)很快地毀掉你，無視你的尸體繼續(xù)往前，而你的心被野豬拽出來吃掉。要明白極端自戀者是嚴(yán)重病態(tài)的人，一定要不顧一切避開他們。

　　Can narcissism be “cured”?

　　自戀能否被“治愈”?

　　Maybe. It depends on the skills of the clinician. Most behavioral clinicians have difficulty knowing how to work with one. For an extreme narcissist to be “cured” he must want to heal and be willing to admit he is unhealthy. For most extreme narcissists, that is simply asking too much. For an extreme narcissist to want to change there must be a gigantic and earth-shattering series of events in their lives to break them of their grandiosity, extreme selfishness, entitlement, and self-righteousness.

　　可能，這取決于醫(yī)生的技巧。大多數(shù)行為臨床醫(yī)生都不曉得如何治療自戀者。極端自戀者想要被治愈，就必須要承認(rèn)自己的病態(tài)，和想要健康的愿望�？墒菍Υ蠖鄶�(shù)極端自戀者來說，這個(gè)要求太過分了。極端自戀者如果產(chǎn)生變化的愿望，那必須要經(jīng)過一系列巨大的人生變革，破壞他們的自大、極端自私、權(quán)利和自以為是。

　　Should an extreme narcissist be willing to be helped, the clinician must be skilled enough to find the wounds of his inner soul, help heal them, and replace them with healthy self-images and patterns for relational dynamics. The only kind of extreme narcissist that can be cured is a broken one.

　　無論極端自戀者愿不愿意得到幫助，臨床醫(yī)生必須要有很好的技巧，才能發(fā)現(xiàn)他內(nèi)心的傷害，進(jìn)行療愈，幫他們樹立起健康的自我形象和互動(dòng)關(guān)系模式。能夠被治愈的極度自戀者只有一種----壞掉的那種。