What’s Your Biggest Regret?
你最大的遺憾是什么?
We all have regrets, but new research suggests the most common regret among American adults involves a lost romantic opportunity.
我們都有各種憾事，不過新研究顯示，美國成年人最普遍的遺憾之事跟錯失了一段戀情有關(guān)。
Researchers at Northwestern University and the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign collected data from 370 adults in the United States during a telephone survey. They asked respondents to describe one memorable regret, explaining what it was, how it happened and whether their regret stemmed from something they did or didn’t do.
來自西北大學(xué)(Northwestern University)和伊利諾伊大學(xué)厄巴納-香檳分校(University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign)的研究人員收集了在一次電話調(diào)查中得到的美國370位成年人的數(shù)據(jù)。他們在調(diào)查中請被訪者描述自己記憶中的一件悔事，解釋這件事的來龍去脈，以及他們是因為做了某件事還是沒有做而懊悔至今。
The most common regret involved romance, with nearly one in five respondents telling a story of a missed love connection. The second most common regret involved family issues, with 16 percent of respondents expressing regret about a family squabble or having been unkind to a sibling as a child.
最普遍的憾事跟感情有關(guān)，近20%的被訪者講述了一段與真愛失之交臂的故事。排在第二位的常見憾事則跟家人有關(guān)，16%的被訪者對某段家庭紛爭或小時候欺負(fù)了兄弟姐妹而表示后悔。
Other top regrets involved education (13 percent), career (12 percent), money issues (10 percent), parenting mistakes (9 percent) and health regrets (6 percent), according to the study, to be published in the journal Social Psychological & Personality Science.
其他常被提及的憾事包括教育(13%)、職業(yè)(12%)、金錢(10%)、教育子女失策(9%)和健康(6%)。這項研究將發(fā)表于《社會心理與人格科學(xué)學(xué)刊》(Social Psychological & Personality Science)。
“People did mention high school romances, the things that got away from them,’’ said Neal J. Roese, a psychologist and professor of marketing at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern. “Some people said they should have studied something different in college, taken a different career path or followed their passions. Other people said they wished they’d worked less to spend time with children, a parenting regret we heard with some frequency.’’
“人們確實提到了高中戀情，那些已經(jīng)離他們遠(yuǎn)去的事物，”西北大學(xué)凱洛管理學(xué)院的心理學(xué)家、市場學(xué)教授尼爾·J·羅斯(Neal J. Roese)說，“一些人說希望在讀大學(xué)時能選擇不一樣的專業(yè)，走上一條跟現(xiàn)在不同的職業(yè)道路，或者追逐自己的理想。還有些人說希望自己過去能少花些時間工作，多放點時間跟孩子們在一起，在關(guān)于養(yǎng)育子女上，這是我們常常聽到的遺憾�！�
The study is notable because past studies of regret have collected data primarily from college students and didn’t offer a look at regret among adults of varying backgrounds, education and experiences. Among college students, the biggest regrets tend to center around education, such as wishing that one had studied more or chosen a different major or career.
這項研究之所以引人注目，在于以往關(guān)于悔恨的研究通常都是從大學(xué)生那里采集數(shù)據(jù)，未能讓人們窺見擁有不同背景、教育和經(jīng)歷的成年人的心理。在大學(xué)生中，最普通的悔悟往往集中在教育上，比方說希望自己本可以更努力學(xué)習(xí)，或者選擇一個不同的專業(yè)或職業(yè)方向。
Participants in the newest study ranged in age from 19 to 103 and came from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds. The findings showed that gender, age and education level all influence the types of regrets people feel.
參與這項新研究的受訪者年齡在19歲到103歲之間，而且來自不同的社會經(jīng)濟背景。研究顯示，性別、年齡和教育程度均會對人們感受到的悔悟類型產(chǎn)生影響。
Women were far more likely to have romantic regrets, with 44 percent fretting about a lost love, while just 19 percent of men still had relationship regrets. People who were not in a relationship were the most likely to cite a romantic regret.
女性更多地會產(chǎn)生跟戀情有關(guān)的遺憾，其中有44%的受訪者對一段失去的愛情表示痛惜，而男性中只有19%的人在這方面有遺憾。
No pattern emerged on the reasons for regret. Just as many respondents expressed regret for something they had done as those who felt regret for something they had not done. However, people whose regrets involved something they didn’t do or a missed opportunity were more likely to hold on to the regret over time.
在造成遺憾的原因方面則未顯現(xiàn)出特定模式。很多受訪者為自己曾做過的事情表示悔恨，但也有很多人為自己沒做過的事而懊悔。不過，那些因自己未做過什么事情，或為錯失某個機會而后悔的人，更難將自己的遺憾拋諸腦后。
“The longer-ago regrets tend to focus on lost opportunities, things you could have done or should have done different,” said Dr. Roese. “More recent regrets tend to focus on things you did do that you wish you could take back.”
“多年前的憾事，往往跟錯失的機會，跟你本應(yīng)去做、或本應(yīng)以不同的方式來處理的事情有關(guān)，”羅斯博士說，“而新近的憾事往往跟你確實做了，而你在后悔自己不應(yīng)該去做的事情有關(guān)。”
Regrets tended to follow traditional gender roles, with women expressing more regrets about relationships and family issues, whereas men tended to focus on issues involving education, career and money. One in three men had regrets about work and career, compared with one in four women with similar regrets.
悔恨看來遵循著傳統(tǒng)的性別角色，女性對感情與家事表達了較多的遺憾，而男性往往更在意教育、職業(yè)和金錢這類事情。每三個男人中，就有一個對工作或職業(yè)表達了遺憾，而每四個女人中，有一個對類似話題表示遺憾。
Regrets also varied by level of education. Those with less education felt regretful for their lack of education, whereas those with more education were more likely to cite a career-related regret.
悔恨還會因教育程度不同而有區(qū)別。受教育較少的人對自己讀書不多而后悔，而教育程度較高的人則更有可能對跟職業(yè)有關(guān)的話題表示遺憾。
Dr. Roese notes that regret can be damaging to mental health when a person fixates or ruminates on the missed opportunity. However, regret, although painful, has the potential to refocus attention and improve decision making.
羅斯博士指出，如果一個人始終對錯失的良機念念不忘、心生執(zhí)念，這會對其心理健康產(chǎn)生不良影響。不過，悔恨雖說讓人痛心，但同時也有讓人重新找到關(guān)注點并改善決策能力的潛力。
“There are ways regret feels bad, but on average, regret is a helpful emotion,” said Dr. Roese. “The most helpful way to experience regret is to feel it deeply, get over it quickly and move on and use it to push you to new behaviors that are going to be helpful.’’
“從某些角度來看，后悔讓人感覺很不好，但總體來說，這是種有益的情緒，”羅斯說，“在體驗后悔情緒時最有益的方式是，深深感受，然后迅速走出來、往前看，并且利用它驅(qū)策你進行有益的新舉動�！�
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