She took me by surprise. Though I had been 2)stalking her through the dense 3)undergrowth for about 40 minutes, I had lost sight of her as the afternoon light began to fade. It was getting late and I was about ready to 4)call it a day when, just as I 5)hit the 6)crest of a shadowy 7)depression in the mountainside, I caught a glimpse of her, a beautiful 8)doe, the 9)matriarch of a small 10)clan that 11)foraged behind her. She saw me, too. Even in the spreading dusk I could see her eyes as she glared at me. She 12)stomped out a warning on the rocky ground.

　　她讓我吃了一驚。雖然我在密集的叢林中跟蹤了她約四十分鐘，但隨著天色愈漸昏暗，我已無從尋覓她的蹤影。天色已晚，我正準備打道回府，就在這時，我發(fā)現了山邊若隱若現的頸脊曲線。我瞥見了她，那是一只美麗的母鹿，一小撮鹿群的頭領，鹿群正在她身后覓食。她也看見了我。即使暮色已濃，我仍能看到她注視著我的雙眸。她用腳跺著巖石地面，發(fā)出警示。

　　I had to admire her 13)guts. I dropped to one knee, 14)fumbled in my pocket for my old brass powder 15)charger, 16)freshened the powder in my 17)frizzen, and pulled back the hammer on my 50-18)caliber flintlock. I took a deep breath and then I 19)drew a bead on her. An instant that felt like an hour passed before I squeezed the trigger. The hammer fell, the powder in the frizzen flashed, startling me even though I was prepared for it, and a heartbeat later, the whole world exploded with the thunder of 90 20)grains of black powder erupting in fire and 21)blinding 22)acrid smoke from the barrel of my gun, sending a lead ball rocketing toward the doe at a 23)lethal 1,400 feet per second.

　　我不得不贊賞她的勇氣。我單膝跪下，一手在口袋中摸出老舊的黃銅火藥彈盒，給火鐮裝上火藥，并拉下了那桿50口徑的燧發(fā)槍的擊鐵。我深吸一口氣，瞄準了她。那刻，一秒猶如一小時般漫長，我終于扣下了扳機。擊鐵落下，火鐮的火藥被點燃，火光把我嚇了一跳，盡管我對此早有準備。頃刻，整個世界在90格令(相當于5.8克)黑火藥引發(fā)的轟雷聲中迸裂，我的槍桿中冒出一陣火光，撲鼻而來的火藥味令人暈眩，一顆鉛彈從槍膛中射出，以每秒1400英尺的奪命之速飛向那頭母鹿。

　　In the smoke and the confusion I couldn’t tell if I had hit her. And then I saw that I had. The impact of the bullet had knocked her to the ground, and as the rest of the herd 24)hightailed it over the ridge, she struggled to stand, staggered a few yards and then collapsed again. I had hoped for a clean kill. But I had failed. I knew what had happened—I had 25)flinched when the powder in the 26)pan went off. Instead of hitting her in the heart or lungs, which would have killed her instantly, I had mortally wounded her. Now I would have to finish the job.

　　Hunting Deer With My Flintlock在煙霧和恍惚中，我無法分辨我是否已命中目標。很快，我看見獵物被擊中了。母鹿已中槍倒地，其余的鹿在山脊邊上迅速地逃命而去。母鹿掙扎著站起來，搖晃著走了幾步又跌倒在地。我本想將其一槍斃命，卻失算于此。我知道原因——火藥被點燃后我遲疑了一下。如果擊中她的心臟或肺部，她就會立馬斃命，但我只是讓她受了致命的傷�，F在，我要結束這一切。

　　I hate to kill.

　　我討厭殺戮。

　　I know that must sound like an odd confession coming from an 27)avid deer hunter, a guy who, like thousands of others in my home state of 28)Pennsylvania, spends the better part of the year looking forward to those few short weeks in October and November, and especially to the special flintlock season that begins the day after Christmas, when I can load up my rifle and get lost in the mountains behind my home all alone. But I suspect that if you could 29)wade through their 30)braggadocio and really talk to hunters, many of them would tell you the same thing.

　　我知道這話從一個獵鹿狂熱分子口中說出，肯定荒謬無比。在我的家鄉(xiāng)賓西法尼亞州，成千上萬的人跟我一樣，一年中都盼望著在十月到十一月的這幾周時間，尤其是圣誕過后的狩獵旺季，能給來復槍裝上子彈，獨自在家后面的山林中忘我地狩獵。但我想，如果你能看穿他們的吹噓，與這些獵人坦誠交談，他們很多人也許會跟你說同樣的話。

　　For me, and I suspect for many others like me, the art of hunting is far more profound than taking 31)trophies. It’s about taking responsibility. For my needs. For my family. For the delicate environmental balance of this wounded but recovering part of the country. Biologists estimate there are now 1.6 million deer in Pennsylvania’s woods, far more than when white men first set foot there. I took up deer hunting a decade ago when I realized that this 32)staggeringly large population was 33)decimating many of our forests, forests that after hundreds of years of 34)clear-cutting 35)were at last poised to recover. Thus the responsibility for trying to restore a part of that balance fell to me. And to all the other hunters.

　　對我來說，我想很多人跟我一樣，相信狩獵的藝術比收獲獵物更為意義深遠。這是負責任的一種表現。為的是我的需求、我的家庭，為幫助這片受了傷并正在恢復的國土重拾那脆弱的生態(tài)平衡。生物學家估算，目前賓夕法尼亞州的森林里有160萬頭鹿，遠超過白人最初涉足此地時的數目。十年前我開始獵鹿，因為我意識到這個龐大的生物群正在啃食我們大部分的森林，如果這樣下去，幾百年后，光禿的森林將再也無法復原。因此，恢復生態(tài)平衡的責任落在了我，以及其他所有獵人的身上。

　　Maybe it’s because I grew up in a family that always did things the hard way, when I took up hunting, I 36)eschewed all the technological gadgets designed to give modern hunters an extra edge over their prey. I like to believe that there’s something primitive and existential about the art of hunting, and that somehow, stripping the act of hunting to its basics makes it purer.

　　也許是因為我從小在做事刻苦的家庭環(huán)境中長大，當我開始狩獵生涯時，我拒絕了所有讓現代獵人占據優(yōu)勢、讓獵物更不堪一擊的械備。我寧愿相信狩獵的藝術中，包含著世間的原始生存掙扎，讓狩獵藝術回歸到本質會使其顯得更純粹。

　　I wanted a weapon that required more of me, one that demanded all the skill and all the planning that I could 37)muster, a weapon that gave me just one chance to get it right. I made the decision to hunt only with the most basic 38)firearm there is, a 39)muzzleloading black-powder rifle, fired by a piece of 40)flint striking cold steel. There are hundreds of us in the state. In late December we wander into the woods, usually alone, with our antique weapons and our 41)obsolete notions of what a hunt should be.

　　我想要一種得花更多心思、更考驗實力的武器，能把所有打獵技巧策略都運用上，只能一擊即中。我決定用最簡單的火器打獵，那是一桿老式來復槍——從前膛入彈、使用黑火藥、通過打火石撞擊冰冷的鋼條來點燃火藥。在我們州有幾百人都是這樣。在十二月下旬，我們徜徉在林間——往往是孤身一人，帶著我們的老古董獵槍，和對“狩獵”的過時觀念。

　　But those antique weapons also carry with them an antique sense of responsibility. To kill with a flintlock, you must get close. And because these ancient guns are notoriously 42)balky and inaccurate, there is a very good chance that you’ll miss your target altogether or, worse, that you’ll simply wound the creature and in so doing, 43)inflict greater suffering than is necessary. And so you take every precaution to make sure that your one shot is clean, that it kills quickly and mercifully. And still, sometimes you fail, just as I did that late afternoon in midwinter when I flinched as my gun went off.

　　但那些老古董獵槍也承載著他們的古老使命。用燧發(fā)槍狩獵，你必須要很接近獵物。眾所周知，因為這些古老的槍支很笨重，準確度也不高，所以你很可能會失準，更糟糕的是，你只是打傷了獵物，而使獵物遭受不必要的、更大的痛苦。因此，你會采取一切預防措施，確保一槍中的，快 而仁慈地讓獵物死去。然而，你有時還是會失手，像我在那個仲冬傍晚那樣，在開槍之際遲疑了一下。

　　I followed the blood trail a few yards and found her. She was still alive. I could see her breath. It was 44)ragged. She looked at me. I loaded my gun, charged the frizzen, and pulled the trigger. There was a flash in the pan—and then nothing. I tried again. Still nothing. The sun was sinking behind the ridge. I didn’t have the time or the tools with me to fix the gun—and so I laid my rifle down on the ground, pulled my knife from its 45)sheath, wrapped my arms around the wounded and frightened doe, and…I hate to kill.

　　我循著血跡走了幾碼地，找到了她。她還活著。我能看見她毫無規(guī)律的呼吸。她望著我。我裝填子彈，扣上火鐮，扳動扳機。槍管中閃過一絲光亮——然后什么都沒發(fā)生。我又試了一次，還是不行。太陽正落向山的另一邊。我沒有時間，也沒有工具來修理這桿槍——于是我把槍放在地上，拔出匕首，雙手環(huán)抱著那頭受了傷、戰(zhàn)栗著的母鹿，然后……我討厭殺戮。

　　But if I’m going to profit by death—and to some degree we all do, as even those who find the very act of eating flesh to be offensive still benefit from the 46)restorative act of responsible hunting in the nation’s wild places—then I believe I also have an obligation to do it in the most honest way possible. It has to cost me something. And it does. I would not be so 47)presumptuous as to suggest that the obligation extends beyond me. But speaking only for myself, it is 48)compelling. It’s a debt I owe the place I’ve chosen to live. And it’s why, if you’re looking for me on the day after Christmas, you’ll find me in the woods of Northeastern Pennsylvania with a flintlock rifle in my hand, and a few 49)gnawing regrets in my heart.

　　但是如果我要用屠戮來牟利——從某種程度上來說，我們所有人都是這樣，甚至那些認為吃肉乃有辱斯文之舉的人，也得益于這個國家某些荒蠻之地的狩獵義舉——那么我相信，我仍有義務以最赤誠之心來履行這個責任。我要付出一些代價。確實如此。我倒又不會自以為是地要求其他人也來承擔這份責任。僅僅對我而言，這是必須的，是我對自己選擇生活的這個地方的一種償還。這也是為什么，如果你在圣誕翌日找我，你會發(fā)現我手握一桿燧發(fā)來復槍，穿梭在賓夕法尼亞州西北部的森林里，并帶著些許撕咬著我內心的悔意。