Passage 1
Everyone knows that weddings—the most elaborateand costly form of old school pageantry stillacceptable in modern society—are stupid expensive. But it turns out Americans are now blowing evenmore money than ever before on what’s supposed tobe the most magical day of any couple’s lifetogether. Money that, to be honest, could be spent on much, much cooler stuff.
The Knot released its annual wedding survey this week, with findings showing that couples arespending a mind-numbing average of $32,641 on matrimonial celebrations. The study includesdata from nearly 18,000 pairs across the country. While the cost of a wedding varied greatlyfrom city to city—reaching a nauseating high of $82,300 in Manhattan—the price was steepno matter where couples chose to get hitched. All this despite the fact that weddings (andmarriages in general, honestly) can be a fairly impractical thing to invest in. Seriously, even50 Cent doesn’t spend as much in a day as you’re spending on a reception band alone. Thinkabout that.
So rather than buying into the Marriage Industrial Complex on a union that may or may notwork out, wouldn’t it make more sense to save your hard-earned money by forgoing the bigceremony for the major expenses you’re likely to face in married life? You know, like amortgage. Or braces for your wallet-draining children-to-be. And if your fianceé is dead set ona fairytale wedding? You could always just blow your financial load on a plenty fulfilling singlelife.
With nearly $33,000 to spend in the life of a singledom, you could get pretty far when it comesto amenities and entertainment. Perhaps the best part of being free from the shackles ofwedding planning is the opportunity to treat yourself. Like, why drop $1,400 on a frilly dressyou’ll wear once before it turns to moth food when you can rock the most expensive shoes ofthe season and look great doing it?
And while weddings are supposed to be all about the happy couple, everyone knows that’s bull, because you have to feed your guests and provide them entertainment and put a roof overtheir heads for a couple of hours and likely go into debt doing it.
In addition to simply having fun, there are some more practical ways to spend your weddingpurse as well. For instance, purchasing and providing for a nice house cat rather than droppingmajor dough on finger bling intended for fending off hotties for the rest of your life. Fluffywon’t care if you bring home someone new every weekend—he’ll just hate everyoneindiscriminately.
Passage 2
My teenage son recently informed me that there is an Internet quiz to test oneself fornarcissism. His friend had just taken it. “How did it turn out?” I asked. “He says he did great!” my son responded. “He got the maximum score!”
When I was a child, no one outside the mental health profession talked about narcissism. People were more concerned by inadequate self-esteem, which at the time was thought tolurk behind nearly every issue. Like so many excesses of the 1970s, the self-love cult spun outof control and is now rampaging through our culture like Godzilla through Tokyo.
A 2010 study in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science found that theproportion of college students exhibiting narcissistic personality traits – based on their scoreson the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, a widely used diagnostic test – has increased by morethan half since the early 1980s, to 30 per cent.
In their book, The Narcissism Epidemic, psychology professors show that narcissism hasincreased as quickly as obesity has since the 1980s. Even our egos are getting fat. This is acostly problem. While full-blown narcissists often report high levels of personal satisfaction, they create havoc and misery around them. There is overwhelming evidence linkingnarcissism with reduced honesty and increased aggression. It’s notable for occasions likeValentine’s Day that narcissists struggle to stay committed to romantic partners, in no smallpart because they find themselves superior.
The full-blown narcissist might reply, “So what?” But narcissism isn’t an either-orcharacteristic. It’s more of a set of progressive symptoms (like alcoholism) than anidentifiable state (like diabetes). Millions of Americans exhibit symptoms, but still have aconscience and a hunger for moral improvement. At the very least, they really do not wantto be terrible people.
A healthy self-love that leads to true happiness builds up one’s intrinsic well-being, asopposed to feeding shallow cravings to be admired. Cultivating amour de soi requires beingfully alive at this moment, as opposed to being virtually alive while wondering what othersthink. The soulful connection with another person, the enjoyment of a beautiful hike alone, or aprayer of thanks over your sleeping child could be considered expressions of self-love.
