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2020年一筆英譯漢審校

來源:FengTran峰翻   2020-11-23【

  On Sept. 3, 1939, after Britain declared war on Germany, George VI addressed millions of people around the world in a live radio broadcast. It was a somber, stirring call to patriotism and fortitude, to courage and resilience, and it was one of the best speeches he had ever made.

  第 一段的錯誤在于George VI(喬治六世),而非喬治四世,羅馬數(shù)字IV(四)和VI(六)確實容易混淆。我認(rèn)為第二段中的Edward VIII(愛德華八世)有助于理解VI,因為VIII(八)比VI(六)多II(二)。

  He had had to struggle so hard to get there. The terrifying march to war, along with the trauma of taking over the throne after the unprecedented abdication of his popular older brother, Edward VIII, had brought back the debilitating stutter that had plagued the king since childhood. The long silences on the radio were not a rhetorical device but a verbal crutch.

  第二段沒找出錯誤,感覺debilitating stutter翻譯得不太準(zhǔn)確。

  That he managed at all was a tribute to the man who stood beside him as he spoke, an uncredentialled, unorthodox speech therapist from Australia named Lionel Logue. “The King’s Speech,” which opens on Nov. 24, tells the story of the unlikely friendship between the two men and describes how Logue helped the king find his voice and his confidence.

  第三段的錯誤在于unlikely friendship,翻譯成“不可能的友誼”不恰當(dāng),我改成了“讓人意想不到的友誼”。

  注:交流討論,僅供參考,歡迎補充

  “It was a perfect storm of catastrophe,” said Colin Firth, whose nuanced portrayal of George has generated a huge pre-Oscar stir. “Having a stammer causes tremendous suffering, and just a few years earlier he would have been bailed out by having his remarks recorded and edited. But he was required to speak on this new device, live radio. And to compound all that you have a war looming, where his only function is his voice, to speak to the people, and he can’t speak.”

  第四段的錯誤在于would have been bailed out,這里是虛擬語氣,意為“本能夠擺脫困境”,試題的譯文中未體現(xiàn)出來。

  The movie opens before George (then called Prince Albert, or Bertie) becomes king, during a scene in which he is trying to address an expectant crowd at Wembley Stadium. Mr. Firth’s voice flails. He swallows his words, trips over them, and spits them partially out, lapsing into long, panicked silences. It is almost physically painful to watch.

  第五段我也沒找出錯誤,倒數(shù)第二句有很多動詞,感覺試題譯文有漏譯。

  George’s wife, played by Helena Bonham Carter, convinces him to seek help from Logue (Geoffrey Rush). Logue’s eccentric methods include insisting that he and Bertie address each other by their first names, making Bertie sing and impertinently asking him about his lonely childhood and his relationship with his chilly family. Gradually the future king opens up, his voice relaxing along with his clenched-up spirit.

  第六段的錯誤在于his relationship with his chilly family,不是“他與家人的冷漠關(guān)系”,而是“他與冷漠家人的關(guān)系”。

  “It’s Logue’s way of trying to help him at a time when convention does not allow psychoanalysis for a person like that,” Mr. Firth said. “Logue is one of the early generation who believed that getting to the heart of a problem psychologically could help with a cure.”

  第七段的錯誤在于convention,試題翻譯為“政府”,應(yīng)該是“按照習(xí)俗、根據(jù)慣例”。

  George VI remained a friend of Mr. Logue for the rest of their lives. (The king died in 1952; Logue died the following year.) The king sought his help before important speaking engagements and, in 1937 made him a member of the Royal Victorian Order, which recognizes personal service to the sovereign.

  第八段的錯誤在于sovereign,這里不是“主權(quán)”,而是“國王”。

  The king never fully got over his stutter, and Mr. Hooper said it would have been wrong to give the film a classic Hollywood ending, in which he is cured and lives happily ever after.

  第九段的錯誤在于it would have been wrong,還是虛擬語氣,試題譯文處理不當(dāng)。

  When he went back and listened to archival recordings, Mr. Hooper said, “it was clear that the king was still coping with his stammer, and that this was not about a man who was cured. It was about a man who had learned how to cope.”

  第十段的錯誤在于about a man who was cured,意為“治好口吃”,而非“接受治療”

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